toadnae: (Default)
[personal profile] toadnae
I have been invisible for the last week. My grandmother went into the hospital a week ago Saturday with pneumonia in one lung and aspirated food in the other. She went steadily down hill, despite IV antibiotics and oxygen.  She went to Critical Care for 2 days when we tried using a Bi-PAP machine to give her a rest from the extreme effort she was putting into breathing.  She promptly became dependent on the machine.  Fortunately, she had a very clear healthcare directive.  We moved her to hospice care on Saturday, and she died six hours later.  

It was more than time.  She was miserable and exhausted.  When she was trying to talk, earlier in the week, she'd just tell me that she wanted to go home and be with my grandfather in heaven. My mother did not give us nearly as much trouble as I was afraid she would.  That had been one of my major stressors through all of this.  My mom is not at all comfortable with turning anything off on anyone.  She clings to every story she's ever heard of people who have woken up or suddenly recovered.  She also held my grandmother's healthcare power of attorney. I had nightmares all week of her fighting us on letting Nana go. The in-patient hospice at North Memorial is an amazing place.  She wasn't there for long, but it made a difference for her and for us.  They had a binder of very helpful articles that gave us the key information we needed to be comfortable turning off her feeding tube and IV fluids.

Right now, I'm mostly exhausted.  I had the evening shift at the hospital all week, and I was staying the night Saturday.  We're still sorting out when the funeral will be.  Hopefully, it will be this Saturday in Cambridge.  We'll then drive up to Duluth for the internment. Once I've managed some decent sleep, I'm sure it will hit me much harder.  I've been so focused on being with her and trying to sort out care needs, that normal life seems a bit surreal.  It was very odd not to go to the hospital yesterday, and I had to remind myself that I don't have to go today.  

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-15 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalmn.livejournal.com
i'm so sorry, hon. *hug*

the hospice at north memorial is really great. that's where my uncle was, this past fall.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-15 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalikanzara.livejournal.com
You have my condolences.

Condolence

Date: 2007-10-15 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ranger-ric.livejournal.com
You have my condolences on this issues

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-15 10:05 pm (UTC)
lcohen: (southpark)
From: [personal profile] lcohen
my thoughts are with you and your family. *hug*

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-15 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shylabrat.livejournal.com
*HUGS*
Call if you need anything!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-16 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thorr-kan.livejournal.com
Thoughts, and prayers love.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-16 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laffingbuddha.livejournal.com
My condolences. Take some comfort in that she is at peace and that you have friends to help you grieve. Many hugs.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-16 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fairoriana.livejournal.com
I'm very sorry for your loss, but I'm glad that hers was a peaceful exit -- for all of you.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-16 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elliesam.livejournal.com
Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Sending hugs from both of us. And yes, let us know if you need anything.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-16 03:16 pm (UTC)
appleboy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] appleboy
So sorry to hear about your grandmother.
I'm glad you chose a hospice. They can be very healing places.
HUGS

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-16 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] komainu.livejournal.com
My condolences.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-10-17 03:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hypatia-j.livejournal.com
My sympathies.

My grandfather was in hospice care at North Memorial in 1991. They're good folk.

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toadnae

September 2010

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