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Today I rediscovered (like I do every time I read one) why I love to read Madeleine L'Engle's nonfiction. She makes me think, and I have this urge to write down what I'm thinking about. It pushes me, and in a good way. I'm currently reading the first book in her Crosswicks cycle, A Circle of Quiet. Reading L'Engle reminds me of why I stubbornly hold to a belief in deity. I've definitely walked away from many of the doctrines in which I was raised, but I cannot/will not walk away from a belief in God/deity/el. Lately I've been working on figuring out why that is, and struggling to sort out some outlines of how my faith works. Something I realized today is that for me, believing that there is a power of both creation and love is what takes me out of myself. If I discard my belief in God, I descend into hubris, into focusing purely on me. L'Engle talks about only being willing to live her life from the basis that behind the universe is a power of personal, creative love. That really resonates with me. In no way do I feel a need to change anyone else's mind about what they believe/think/feel about deity. But for me personally, I do not want to live my life on any other basis.
One of the most freeing concepts for me in the last few years has been the realization that I can have faith and not need to shut my brain off. When my parents tried to kidnap me and we ended up talking in the park instead (LONG story), the final straw that caused me to feel no guilt about walking away from the belief set I was raised with was my mother saying to me, "Stop thinking so much and just believe." Right there, I knew I wanted nothing more to do with a faith that required me not to use the brain God gave me.
In other news, I just got a phone call -- I'm an aunt again! Lena Abigail was born at 4:06 pm today. 8 pounds, 10 ounces, only 7 hours in labor. Her sister took over 24 and an emergency c-section, so there is much rejoicing!
One of the most freeing concepts for me in the last few years has been the realization that I can have faith and not need to shut my brain off. When my parents tried to kidnap me and we ended up talking in the park instead (LONG story), the final straw that caused me to feel no guilt about walking away from the belief set I was raised with was my mother saying to me, "Stop thinking so much and just believe." Right there, I knew I wanted nothing more to do with a faith that required me not to use the brain God gave me.
In other news, I just got a phone call -- I'm an aunt again! Lena Abigail was born at 4:06 pm today. 8 pounds, 10 ounces, only 7 hours in labor. Her sister took over 24 and an emergency c-section, so there is much rejoicing!
